Midlife wife crisis10

[DS9]

I am in denial about the d. I still can’t believe I am getting d. I’m stuck and I am trying real hard to unstick myself. I am the opposite of my w, I think of all the good times and vacations while she thinks of all the bad. Obviously we are in 2 very different places

Mate, I feel your continued pain, and denial, and search for answers. Does it feel like you are under her 'spell' still? It still kind of feels that way for me, but its a lot less strong now. Are you getting IC? If not, this will help, but make sure you get an appropriate therapist. They can help you in distilling what it is in your subconscious that causes you to keep hitting the replay button.

Until you become detached and indifferent, I think you need to try and block from your mind all the good memories. I had to, and I think we have similar minds. Sometimes it gets through, but just keep blocking til you get help to deal with it more subconsciously.

Don't ask her about anything, including bandages, injuries etc. Absolutely resist the temptation. My XW came back from holiday recently with a huge infected pusball on her chin. I said nothing, and didn't even look. She volunteered what happened, and all I said was 'hope it gets better soon' - DILLIGAF.

[quote=Wolfman]I read about women going through peri-menopause can experience major hormonal changes that can alter the way they act and feel.

I'm convinced it played a huge part in my situation, and I also don't think it's a coincidence that so many WAW's and WW's are in their 40's and 50's. But the real question is how does it impact your approach, and the answer is it doesn't. You DB whether that's a factor or not.

Nail on head guys. For about a year before BD, my XW would regularly say she thinks menopause would come on soon. I was supportive in her concerns back then. A few months after BD, she told me about being in first throes of MP, changes in her cycle etc. You know what I said - 'hope you'll be ok' then I walked off.

I agree with LH19 in that you need to get your own haven. I don't know how you've lasted this long being under the same roof.

Stay strong Wolf, and good luck mate!