Hi Dbx80, I won't tell you whether to date your wife while she dates others or NOT date your wife while she dates others. I have no insights there, but I have insights on another matter you raised!
Originally Posted by "Dbx80"
When I told her to stop talking to the OM before, she said it was important for her to make that decision herself (instead of being pressured into it).
Google the difference between a boundary and an ultimatum. An ultimatum attempts to control and pressure another person. "You better stop talking to him.. or else I won't have dinner with you!" A boundary only controls you, it limits what you'll accept. "I love you but I won't do an open relationship--I must decline dinner." In either case she may get angry. People usually are the first time you enforce boundaries. If you choose this path it may be worth considering some responses you predict and how you might respond.
Originally Posted by "Dbx80"
I will NOT be involved in a relationship any longer with a cheater.
You could probably set the boundary without calling her names.
I don't think labeling her is essential to your point.
