But I have really been enjoying the space and my uninterrupted time with the kids. It's so amazing....But right now, the feeling of freedom, freedom from W's judgement and criticism and control, and freedom to do what I want for the most part, is invigorating. ... I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel.
Ejoy it now. It typically doesn't last long....I was single and free for less than 2 years....
I'm guesstimating I may be on a similar timeline and we'll see how it all plays out. No expectations. I feel like I may end up on some dates in October, which will be my 3rd month out on my own and around the 1 year anniversary of BD. I suspect there may be a "blast from the past" or two mixed in there. Casually.
I went to a small party over the weekend, about 15 of us who have been friends for 25 years, lots of laughs and old stories. Good for the soul, amazing people, got several texts the next day about how good and happy I looked, the bright future, all that kind of stuff. That felt good to read. When I say I'm doing great I mean it, it's not a front or an act for my friends, and they can feel it. If I'm feeling this good now, in the middle of a D after a toxic R, how good am I going to feel when I am more clear of it all? It's going to be really amazing, I think.
There was a gal at the party who I have known for 20 years who is also D'd. First time we have ever been single at the same time. I had a little crush on her before I met W and that feeling started to creep back over the past year. I haven't said a thing or made any move and no plans to do so at the moment, I am going to play that very cool for awhile but she is on my mind. If I get some signals from her down the road it might be on. But not yet or soon. I'm going to enjoy some space for awhile.
The kids are great, I am giving them as much love as they can take in. It's soccer season so the weekends have games and good times on the sidelines with other parents. My W's incessant screaming at I mean encouraging the kids while they are playing is almost intolerable and I can't seem to get a video shot without her yelling in the background which is ungodly irritating, but i'm staying serene as possible. I just have to move way down the sideline or block the mic, LOL. I'll be fine, it's a marathon with another 15 years of these weekend sports events to go. No trigger, no safe space needed, no problem it's all good.
