This might be an unpopular opinion, but maybe you need to err on the side of being firm but really softening the message. Your W may be completely wrong about you and vilifying you, but as they say, her perception is her reality. I know that I get triggered when I get a plain “no” response. Would it work it cushion it a bit so that there is no way any sane person could say you were being anything but amicable? For example “Sorry, no that won’t work for me.” ?
To be clear, I mean this for your sake, your sanity in communicating with her/co-parenting and your protection in the event of D proceedings.
