I will also say that during the year of my affair I ran her down constantly. I was a horrible person to her. In the times after the affair I wasn't, she said she understood that I ran her down to make myself feel better or whatever. That hurt her deeply, very, very deeply.

She had never opened up to her parents about anything, well this weekend she did. Her mom called me today and said that she talked about what happened during the affair, and how the OM makes her feel, and that she says I never loved her, that you can't be that horrible to someone and love them, you just can't.

She is definitely only thinking and seeing the absolute worst part of our relationship, the year during the affair is defining our entire marriage. Does DBing help with letting her heal and start remembering the good things too? Is time really my best friend to letting the pain subside and letting her remember some of the good things also?

Me 34 Her 34
T:16 years
M:11
4 Daughters: 10,7,6,3
Her EA May 2019
Separated July 30th 2019
Her PA Started August 1st, 2019
Filed October 3rd, 2019