Not sure what to do after ILYBNILWY

[SoTorn]

I know I was told early on because of the ILYBINILWY and other things to expect an EA/PA. Everything I read on it suggested the same. I was hopeful that maybe by a slight chance my sitch wouldn't follow.

Well.........

Today I'm pretty sure I have confirmation of either a EA, most likely a PA. Written in her writing is the info for her Text Free account for a texting app. Apparently her name is Jennifer Smith (its not). This app also offers calling and she has a phone number for it as well as a gmail account for "Jennifer". Also written on the sticky (twice) is "Matt loves Candy". Matt is the managing director over her department. Matt seemed to always be very helpful with trying to advance my wifes career. He wants to make her a manager, submitted her name for a coarse offered by her job for skills advancement and made sure she was accepted to it and he had just recently moved the manager my wife reported to because she always had complaints about him.

He's been at her job since December 2018. Thinking back, it was probably around February/March that my wife seemed a little more detached from me, not coming to me for hugs, not initiating kissing me and really stopped touching me.

I know that this is just a symptom of the problems in the M and not the cause of it. I haven't said anything to her, she's actually gone, to her "girl friends" since last night. Guessing she won't be home until tomorrow. She doesn't know that I know she has a secret app to contact him thru.

I'm really not sure how to address this. I don't really feel upset about it as even though I was hopeful an EA/PA wasn't the case with my sitch, I had it in the back of my mind for the last several weeks that it could be true. But it was shocking and hurtful to see those words written in ink by my wifes hand.

I'm reluctant to blow up things around the house right now since my son only has about 7 weeks until he goes to basic training and I Don't want him to go with it on his mind.

Please advise me on my next steps.

My exww cheated with her boss. One of the red flags was him always pushing for her advancement in her career and him always traveling with her even though there was zero reason for him to go anywhere with her.