22 years gone

[rooskers]

rd500 Thanks and I agree with your opinion completely. I had D13 in therapy but she didn't like him because she felt as if she was being treated like a little child. I was looking for another therapist for her when XW forced her to go to her therapist to work on their R which caused D13 to become suicidal. D13 then refused to go to another therapist because she didn't trust any of them. I took my daughter to her primary care doctor who then had her see a Behavioral Specialist who finally convinced her to try another therapist. We looked at the list of recommended people and D13 picked out one we both seemed to like. She starts with her new therapist next week and I hope it goes better than the last two. I have also been connecting my daughter with healthy adult women that have been very supportive of her. They don't talk about her mom just show her love, acceptance, and most importantly listen to her when she doesn't feel comfortable sharing certain feelings with me. I endlessly tell my daughter that none of this is her fault.

The problem as I see it is XW doesn't love herself and maybe doesn't even know how to love. Even more heartbreaking is the fact I don't think XW knows how to accept unconditional love. Her mom had her at 16 and told her she was a mistake. Her mom has tried to reconnect in a healthier manner in the past four years helped along a lot by me, (probably one of the mistakes I made in the R) but that ended three months ago with XW telling her she is no longer her daughter and stopping all communication. D13 even commented to me "see dad she stopped being Grandma's daughter so I can stop being hers."