CW - I didn't completely answer your question about the custody/whereabouts.
It was mentioned briefly in the session, how my W got upset because I was not updating her one day what I was doing with the kids, but we resolved it without escalation. I had basically said, "You're right, I'm sorry, that is something I had agreed to, I'll do better next time. I also hope we can talk about when we can wind this down." And that was that.
The MC session veered almost into a 1:1 between the counselor and my W, with him pressing her quite a bit, and I felt like giving the space for that to happen. It felt important.
They were dancing around the issue that she mind-reads me all the time and assumes extremely negative things. I was sitting there listening quietly. The MC handled this all extremely well - he was indirect about it, but getting his point across. I'm not sure it will stick, because my W is fully engrossed in this idea that I am some scary monster.
A couple thoughts came out of this:
1. W is not having these insights in her own IC. My guess is she has further entrenched herself as the victim. Not really my problem, but just an observation.
2. It's all fine and good to sit and wait for my W to change (and I have seen no signs to date) and go to these sessions and have the MC point out little things, but I'm not sure it's really doing me any good.
