It’s interesting to notice the degree to which H follows my lead in our interactions. When I’m cordial and upbeat, as I have been consistently of late, he is chatty, makes small talk, jokes around, and often starts looking around my home commenting on what he thinks needs fixing or attention (he is a very handy fix it guy). This is at the heart of my confusion, I’ve noticed. I know I shouldn’t try to mind read (as noted in the post above) and I do try not to. But I can’t help but wonder about this piece of the dynamic. In R talks he always talks about not wanting to give me the wrong idea/give me false hope, but he sure doesn’t try very hard to keep things formal. Is it just NGS? Is he just so eager to be perceived as nice that everything else goes out the window? In every R talk we’ve had, as regrettable as this is, he can always pinpoint his exact actions that he believes are giving me false hope. But he always goes right back to those same actions soon afterward. I know that if I was as concerned about giving someone false hope, I’d be much more guarded and careful than that. I realize that he and I are different people, and I also realize that this is mind reading that I shouldn’t be engaging in. But I need to wonder about this “out loud”.
