Still surviving

[bttrfly]

Hello! Nice to "see" you.
I read your posts, when I'm here. I've not been here much ... it's hard, as time goes on, to read all the pain. My heart aches for the newcomer who just wants this to end and to have their beloved family and spouse back, you know? and wow, that's just not going to happen in a timely manner, because the MLCr has to go through their process, however long it may take. I've moved to the Post D part of the forums.

And, to get here, I've had to do so much hard inner work in a way that was not fair at all and with no guarantees of an outcome and know that I was doing it for me regardless of the outcome. I had to do all the heavy lifting.

YES. Absolutely. that's exactly it, the path of the LBS.

If I could recommend anything to newer folks, it would be to become okay with setting some boundaries. Every time I've set an honest boundary that was my truth, it has been a great thing for me. And, if I'd lost my MLC monster because I set a limit? Good riddance, honestly. My MLC monster only became my MLC friend after I set boundaries.

Now this is interesting. When I set limits, my MLCr monstered more at first then would simply disappear. That's his M. O. though. I think mine thought he could do whatever he wanted. He was absolutely shocked at some of the firm limits I set. I've wondered where we would be today if I hadn't set them. Would we be back together? If so, I know I wouldn't be happy, but would be going along and stifling my own needs to keep the family intact. That is no way to live, so overall, I'm at peace with the limits I set.

Your update shows your hard work and also progress. My heart goes out to the MLCr and your H in particular, as he's clearly in pain and doing his best to find his way back. I'm so glad the MLC path isn't mine. Keep posting Surv1ve. You're doing great!!! xoxoxo