Not much as happened in the past week. I see my W on Wednesday nights when I get home from work (normally around my sons bedtime). Last night she was tucking him in when I came home so I went upstairs to join. She was reading to him and after about 3 minutes she says: "it's so weird with you here". She feels awkward reading to him out loud (ridiculous yes but she felt that way even before BD). Then when he wants a few songs she won't sing, for the same reason. So I do it, and I enjoy it.
We did talk after as my therapist recommended I share something about my past with her that she didn't know and how that may have affected me in our relationship. She listened well and was appreciative of me sharing. Asked a couple questions about therapy (she still says she's planning on going consistently but we'll see) and if I felt good opening up. My therapist thought it might help her open up down the road too, or even push her subconsciously to get moving on her own IC. After that she talked about her day and then mentioned that her lawyer needed to know some details on our mortgage and my investments, so that was a bit of a downer. I expect it but it [censored] hearing her talk about this like it's no big deal to her. I just said no problem what do you need and I'll send it to you.
This weekend she's having her mom stay at her place so she can look after our son while my W goes to an auto show. This bugs me. She only gets 1 full day a week with our son (and he only gets one with his mom) and she's prioritizing an auto show with friends over time with him. It always makes me wonder why she thinks I'm the problem...I'm one of many people she has disconnected from.
She also is going to have her mom live with her for a month or two. Not sure what to think of that. Her mom wants us to work things out and she wants her to do IC so that's good. Her and I have a good relationship too.
Aside from that I've been busy enjoying my time with my son and working on a new website for golfers. I've been playing and practicing when I'm not working as I have three tournaments over the next 2 weeks so hopefully cash a little money in those. I need to make some more friends in this area - but since my son is with me at night I don't have much time to meet new people. I had some friends come by last weekend though and we had a good time.
Some days are better than others. I did take all the pictures down of us and I left a picture of her in our sons room for him. She obviously noticed but didn't say anything. We are now 9 months into this mess and it feels like it's been forever. Some days I see the woman I married but those moments are few and far between. I think the distance between us is helping her move closer to divorce. I'm trying to connect when the opportunity presents itself but otherwise I don't contact her at all and she no longer contacts me. No texts out of the blue, no instagram messages (she would sometimes send me the odd meme) and no calls. Doesn't ask about our son on the days she isn't with him and never calls to talk to him or say goodnight. I wonder if she even wants to be a mom.
We should be finalizing our S agreement over the next few weeks. I really hope I'll get custody of our son - I'll be fighting for full custody.
Anyways, long note but that's what's going on. As always I appreciate any advice or insight.
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
