Hi Dbx80, my partner and I are on better terms than ever. Note, my situation involved no EAs or PAs and we're only 2 yrs in--hence my advice being limited to, being slow to speak, and slow to make big decisions! I was in a 10 year relationship before that and was the WAS in that marriage.
Like you, I've been accused of being controlling. Truth! My partner was sometimes controlling, too. I'm now more cognizant of controlling behavior and quick to say, "I control me, you control you."
I'm also better at listening/validating and expressing my feelings in a healthy way.
