Originally Posted by bballer1
It drives her nuts and she flips out. She then demands that I answer when she calls or she said she would stop calling. I do not get angry back but play it off as being busy or my phone was on silent.


WHAT??? Man quit coddling her! "W, I am not answering because I do not want to talk to you. I wish you would quit calling, I am not interested in talking to you while you are engaging in an affair unless it is something urgent. Now please respect my time."

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I know that all her feelings of guilt and shame are short lived due to working with him everyday. She will continue this roller-coaster of emotions for a long time.


Guilt? No. Shame? No. Upset that her little fantasy has been blown? Yes.

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I try to change subject or walk away when she shares feelings she has for him. His wife tried to call her again last night and she didn't speak to her. She quickly began trying to emotionally connect with me and became needy to some degree.

I just told her she needed to speak with the woman and give her the truth.


Not your problem. Let her deal with the aftermath, quit giving her advice!

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Avoiding the woman implies that she is still involved with her husband.


SHE IS still involved! She admitted it to you right here:

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Her world is slowly crashing down and she finally admitted last night that she is going to try and stop the affair.


You can't stop an affair that is already over. Therefore, she is STILL in an affair with him.

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She mentioned going at night and I just told her to be careful because the OM's wife said she was hiring a private investigator.


NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

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I know that it is short lived and she will be back to communicating with him when she goes to work during the day.


Right. So what do YOU do? Leave her alone. Detach. GAL. She has made a steaming poo of a mess for herself and you do NOT want to rescue her from it or be her shoulder to cry on.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57