Very sorry your W isn't giving you much support through this. I know this is difficult, but you've got to deal with your cancer and treatments AND give her time and space and validation. SHE should be the one validating YOU, but nevertheless she's still a WAS and despite what you're going through you've got to stick to DB'ing techniques with her. So listen. Validate. Don't talk about your troubles, health or otherwise. She gets pissy then say "you seem upset, is that how you feel? Is there anything I Can do to help?" You can do this Oz!
And I agree with DS9, no more back rubs. If she wants physical contact then let her ask for it. That is just you trying to "nice" her back and it will not work.
