Glad to hear that you asked for and got what you wanted in terms of the kids.
Just keep on keepin on, do the best you can with the kids, and be the best man you can be. That is all you can do. Worrying about how it would go is useless. If you D, it will go how it goes. You can control you and your emotions and reactions, just like right now. Take good notes, each day with the kids, what you did, etc...so you can remember later when something comes up about how you never do anything fun with them or whatever.
Thanks LB55 - I have been lax on the daily journal and need to keep on top of that, as you suggest.
Originally Posted by LB55
I'm not on here much right now, checking in once in a while to see how folks are doing. Nothing changed on my front so not much to report other than more anger. When asked why I am not included in kids events at school(she didn't tell me about them so I couldn't go; found out from the kids after the fact), she told me its because I parked the boat crooked behind the garage. CRAZY I tell you!
That is absolutely crazy -- I also get triggered when my W does things which she would not be allowed to do post-D (for instance, school and doctor appointments, etc.). Sorry to hear you are going through that.
Originally Posted by CWarrior
Sounds like a successful co-parenting session. You got your time in the middle of the 10-day stretches, and most issues the MC said were hers to deal with in IC--"Expectations are reservations for future resentments." Since she cancelled her IC sessions, I suppose she feels no urgency in resolving those.
Was there any discussion about your reporting your whereabouts during custody?
I agree her fear of you, even if completely unwarranted, opens you up to craziness during the divorce. As you say, not much you can do about that except to be a great dad and then deal with it if/when it happens.
CW - It's unclear if she canceled IC, or just couldn't find someone to watch D3 while she goes (which is nuts, because she could have asked me and I probably would have flexed my work schedule to watch D3). Even more triggering is that my W points to a gap in February where I skipped a few sessions as a reason to be "scared" of me.
There was no direct custody discussion. When I brought up the 10 day gap, the MC said it was not healthy for kids to go that long without in-person parenting time. My W's response to this: "Yeah, it's hard going 4 days with them. And the 10 days only happens sometimes." I immediately re-directed: "Actually our schedule IS 4-10, so 10 day gaps will be very regular."
Your last point is so right... I can't address her fear. Amidst my frustration and my own fears, I have a kind of sadness for her. She has chosen to blame me for everything, and it is an awful way to live.
