MLC, I appreciate the 2x4’s! But I feel like I’m doing everything I know to handle the situation in the best way.
I am giving importance to how she feels because my purpose is to win her back. I lost her because I didn’t care about her feelings for months, so I’m trying to do a 180 on that.
As far as saying I’m sorry, I can see how she could take that as apologizing for her feelings, but I feel like I was really just validating her feelings. How would you handle that?
I don’t really know what I can do at this point to get her respect back. I have done everything I know to work on our marriage, except let it go.
Yes I am surprised. This is still so new for me knowing the relationship we’ve always had since the first day we met. I understand her being hurt and angry with me, but I don’t understand why she still feels this way all these months later. I was hurt and angry with her for 8 months and it’s only been 6 months for me, but I’ve not done anything close to what she’s doing to me. I guess she just wants me to hurt in a different way.
In a lot of ways, I feel like this is just revenge based on her actions and words.
Yes, I feel like I am listening and validating her feelings and trying to make her feel better. I don’t think it’s from NGS, but it’s becsuse I’m trying to do a 180 on that behavior.
Originally Posted by MLCxH
Originally Posted by HrtHsbnd
So last night on webchat I tried to be cordial and talk, it’s what I’ve always done because it’s who I am. She feels if I don’t do this then I’m just mad at her, which is what I don’t want her to feel.
You are being a "nice guy" here. Not saying you should not be cordial but why are you giving so much importance to what she feels?
Originally Posted by HrtHsbnd
My response was that I’m sorry she felt that way about this weekend .
Do you realize how weird it is that you are saying sorry for her feelings? You are not apologizing for any specific things you did wrong but you are apologizing because she feels bad and her feelings are controlled by her and not you.
Originally Posted by HrtHsbnd
I thought I went out of my way to let her webchat with him, while honoring her wishes. I also said that while I appreciate her concern, I have no reason to be hostile towards her and have been honoring her wishes now for several months.
"Honoring her wishes"? Do you believe talking to her this way will make her respect you?
Originally Posted by HrtHsbnd
She never responded
Are you surprised?
Originally Posted by HrtHsbnd
But again, I’m trying to just listen and validate.
Do you really believe that? I see a lot of apologizing and NGS trying to please her.
