kml - it sounds like u are describing my ex and the way I thought a marriage should be.....so scary when I think about my ex husband and what he was like in our marriage. He was exactly the same as yours when it came to illness and because I tend to be empathic, I became so caught up in him, I lost myself. My ex is now involved with a girl 28 yrs younger than him and I no longer have any contact ( no children makes this easier). It's taken me a while to accept that who he was isn't who he is and as I am sure you will agree,its been a hard and sometimes lonely road but I have learnt so much about myself and who I am that in some ways I am grateful. Thanks for sharing your insights with me.....
