Just remember - he loves you but NOT ENOUGH TO STOP HIS FREAKIN' AFFAIR!!!!
If he says it to you again, it's okay to reply: "Apparently not enough to stop your affair and get counseling."
Right now he loves the "drug" more than his family. Like an addict, he'll try to have both, but you need to stand firm. You're more than happy to go to couples counseling IF he gives up the OW.
I suspect, though, that by the time he comes to being willing to do all that, you'll have realized how nice it is not to be with an abusive spouse.
