- I pressed for getting some time with the kids during my ten day gap. W agreed. This was my #1 goal of the session and I'm really happy about it.
- W said she feels like I am always saying "No" to her requests. Interesting because I feel like I am more than reasonable. I pointed this out, and the counselor talked her through how she is likely experiencing the "no"s stronger than the "yes"es.
- W brought up a recent situation where she felt unsupported by me. The counselor talked her through this and pointed out that she just didn't ask for what she wanted. She assumed I was going to read her mind. I assumed she wanted space so didn't offer what she apparently wanted. There was a lot of this during the session. He said something along the lines of "Expectations are reservations for future resentments."
- W started to get emotional and said she was worried about what would happen if she didn't do right by me. The counselor talked her through how she needs to go to IC to sort this out, that there's nothing I can do other than sit and listen openly (which is exactly what I did).
- W implied I may be having "house guests" at my house. Obviously she was fishing, and I was a little bewildered that her mind would go there.
- We agreed to limit our weekly calls to 30 minutes tops.
In short, zero work towards working on the MR. We scheduled something for middle of next month.
Couple triggers for me during this session:
- W said we moved up here for my happiness and my job. This is not entirely true. We could not afford the lifestyle she desired in our old city. It was a joint decision. She appears to have erased this from her memory.
- W said she was afraid given how scary I was to her on a daily basis when we lived together. I was surprised to hear this. Part of her narrative, and if she's unwilling to talk it through there's nothing I can really do.
I'm not sure what to do with all of this. I can't help her get over the abuse narrative or whatever is going on in her head. I can just let her work on herself, just like I am working on myself. It frightens me how a potential D would go, given her mindset.
