My query tonight is whether or not anyone has considered their MLC spouse to be a narcissist
Yes. Although it took me some time after our separation and the wisdom of a friend to really see it, my ex had always been a narcissist - MLC just made him worse.
I was always very accommodating, as I'm a flexible, easy-going type who goes with the flow. I thought that's what you do in a marriage, but in retrospect it was mostly me doing the bending. My ex is an insecure narcissist - as long as you make him look good, it's great, but if you don't live up to the image he wants to project, you're not valued. God forbid you have an illness and can't just "buck up" out of it. (One of my sons has recently been diagnosed with joint hypermobility syndrome which is causing him a lot of joint pain, but he's afraid to even discuss it with his father because his father's voice rings in his head "get over it, you're not really sick".)
His narcissism has become increasingly obvious since our divorce in the way he has treated our children. Meanwhile, even though my dating history since divorce has been - well - a bit erratic, EVERY man I dated since my ex made me feel more valued and accepted for who I am than he did.
