Moving way to fast, no I don’t really think this is headed anywhere. I don’t think Recon is gonna happen. She is way too involved with her friends now and that seems to take priority over everything to her. It’s strange because she seems to enjoy spending time with me again but maybe it’s nothing more than just having some fun. I don’t believe she’s in a place where she is ready to commit to a relationship again and I think she is still very confused about what she wants. I’m enjoying the s*x but I don’t really think its much more than that.
As for manipulating, I can’t really think of a reason for her to manipulate me at the moment. It’s not like she’s stalling the D as she already retained a lawyer. I’m just not sure what she is gaining by spending time with me.
Yes I know that I have grown immensely. A lot of my old friends say that I’m a new person in many positive ways and my new friends are a result of my changes. I have definitely 180/removed most of my previous negative behaviors.
She has changed as well. She seems to be far more independent which is good considering she basically lost her identity in our R and had almost no self differentiation which we discussed last night.
My stipulations for recon would be, transparency, IC, MC and treating it like a new R but I don’t think any of this will happen or at least not anytime soon.
I guess I forgot to mention we discussed her “wanting to work on things”. A week ago she discussed that we should have been working on things this whole time, that we should have been in MC and that she shouldn’t have moved out. Last night she waffled on this and said “I didn’t say we should be working on things now” (which she did say) “I said we should have been”. Which isn’t at all what she said a week ago.
A big point for her was that she spent a ton of money to retain a lawyer and feels that she has to press things forward, but she later expressed she was still unsure of divorce.
I just don’t care at this point, I filed because she had shown no interest in working on things or doing things together until a couple weeks ago. Now that she is unsure of what she wants, it doesn’t really matter to me how this unfolds. Just gonna continue to focus on myself and my son. I may need to pull back now. What do you guys think?
