Jac and joe, thanks for the advice, it’s really appreciated.
Wow what a fckin mess. I don’t know if I would even consider this piecing.
So since my last post we have:
Had s*x three times. Been on a couple dates. Had lunch together with our son. One of the s*x nights, she invited me over to watch one of our old favorite tv shows together.
Every time we see each other it’s great. Conversation is easy. There has been a lot of kissing and making out. Which is supposedly a good thing as there was none of that around BD. There’s a lot of talk about previous good memories which is awesome to talk about.
There was talk about the future: having more kids. Going on vacation. Positive things as around BD it was over according to her.
Any way, we had great conversation at dinner, until our R talk happened.
Basically she said she was gonna fight me. That she didn’t want 50:50 and I was crazy if I thought she would give that up. Currently 60/40. I argued a bit but realized that what ever I said didn’t really matter and switched to validation. She said that she wished we had talked about this more before her response. She also expressed that she thought my filing was rushed which indeed it was. She asked what the event was that caused me to file. She believed it was me seeing her out when it was her day with our son. She said it was because it was her birthday and that it was the only time she has gone out while it was day with S.
I told her that I had seen who was there that night: her old hookup from 7 years ago. She replied that she knew there was some event that caused me to file. She believed it was because I saw her out on a night with S under her care. I told her I knew who she was with and that was why. She denied and said she hadn’t talked to that guy for years. My instinct told me to trust that as the truth but who fckin knows right.
So after this awkward R talk I quickly switched gears to another topic and we talked more about memories from the past and our S.
Overall it was a good night besides the R talk. We discussed self differentiation and how it’s great she has a group of friends now. As during our R she basically sat at home and distanced herself from friends. Through no controlling of myself. We discussed our separate growth in a positive way. She expressed that she sees herself having more children with me but isn’t sure when.
I believe she is very close with her new group of friends and doesn’t want to give up her new lifestyle. Her mom is a supporter of me and W has told me that MIL has expressed many times that she hopes we will get back together and she will pray about it.
We ended up going on a bit of an adventure and had a lot of fun. We ended up having s*x with lots of kissing and cuddling. Things have obviously improved since BD but I still feel in limbo. She also mention that “ we’re in the middle of a divorce, but maybe not” signifying confusion.
