Journal— I may finally be getting the hang of cordially distant. It does go hand in hand with the fact that I am in a slightly more detached, slightly more accepting place than I was not too long ago. I do feel some progress in that way. I’ve been focusing on my “letting go” meditation and “I have no control over the outcome” mantras, and general anxiety management. It feels good to try to take control of my emotions this way. And I’m finally getting back in to see my IC tomorrow, which I’m excited and nervous about. H is acting a weird combination of warmer/friendlier (ie saying “good morning” and “have a good day” in his texts about D4, saying “goodnight sleep well” when he leaves) and also being oddly formal (ie asking if it was ok for him to get a glass of water when he dropped her off). I’m not attempting to mind read, but I am noting the ebbs and flows and waves of his behavior toward me. It’s mysterious.
