Subject to the vets chiming in with a contrary view, I wouldn't have any talk with her tonight. Don't be home, don't answer your phone. Lay low and maybe go stay at a friend's house tonight. Stay away from her for now.
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
Im with DS9 - don't have a convo tonight. Don't be around or at least be very busy at the house doing your thing. You can't control how she feels so let her go through that process.
IF it comes up again just say you have it under control and are dealing with it. Try to be strong.
However old OZ would have handled this...do the opposite.
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
So I got what it takes to dB and fight this cancer at the same time. In fact it makes for an even better 180. Handling my crap and still being strong and standing tall.
My boss told me today. “I can’t believe the attitude you have with this. How well your handling it”
I got this
Cancer can kiss my A$$.
My W is sure gonna miss me if she decides to bolt.
YOu got the "Puppy Dog Tail" Four Whistle solute.
You do have what it takes. We all do. We just have to figure that out and believe it and then do it.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Sorry your wife's not willing to support you through cancer. It seems like you need to get that elsewhere. I read two "dating during chemo" articles. They suggested casual dating's as easy as ever, but it adds challenges for long-term relationships. No surprises there. One of the two article writers landed a good partner. Hope you were able to give each other some space tonight and didn't run into an unprovoked BD2.
Thanks guys. Things settled down some last night. Then a little bit better this morning.
Tips on back rubs? She enjoyed it 2 days ago. Yesterday she didn’t want me to touch her. I think everything should be ok today based on yesterday’s trajectory. She might have been hangry lol. Cause she got a little better after supper
She said she had a very bad day at work. I said I’m sorry you had a bad day. She said I’ve had a bad 30 years (she is 30 years old). I reached out to rub her back a little. (She said she has been enjoying it lately so I know). But she said please don’t and got all angry sounding.
Ozman, I'd definitely take a step back on back rubs and talking to her earnestly about cancer. I wouldn't describe you as back to Day 1. Some things have improved, some things have worsened.
Edit: I see R2C mentioned validation. Do you know what made her day rough?
She has never asked for back rub since BD. She has enjoyed them though. I’m done talking to her about cancer. It’s too much for her.
I’ll back off for now. I think she got very close to a breaking point yesterday. She seems fragile. I got self centered in our convo. Won’t hapoen again. The cancer thing has me not quite grounded.
I think she needs some space. More so now after cancer BD. She feels trapped by it. Luckily I backed off last night and prolly saved a second BD. PHEW
what’s puppy dog tails?
R2C. Can you send me your list of books again. Also I need to back off in touch. But then if things improve again re initiate it slowly.
