Thanks Steve! This is some crazy stuff...I am struggling a lot trying to do the right things but find just a simple quick hiccup will derail any positive movement.
Her issues were trust based and I am not sure how to show a 180 on this. I want to be transparent which is important but I am taking advice to chill and leave her alone. She will ask what I have planned for the day most mornings but I haven’t given her a rundown on all I have planned due to limiting my conversations with her. Unfortunately I have a lot of freedom in my job being self employed and in sales. I also had my assistant retire in June. That was good and bad as she would try stirring up issues with my wife which I was not aware of. W told me she wasn’t playing that game with her. Issue is she has to believe what I tell her without any checks and balances. I don’t know how to rebuild the trust when I am to chill and limit all conversations with her. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Another interesting issue is for those who are aware of the sitch says move on. No intimacy for 3 yrs and you are still in love with her is crazy. Move on and find someone who will appreciate me. Then I am reading DB and feeling this M could and should be saved. At 58 do I want to start over, well not really. I have to decide if it’s worth investing time in trying to save the M or move on and deal with the pain now. This isn’t taking in her side which D papers have not been filed as far as I can tell. It’s status quo for her in the back bedroom, no rings on and doing what she wants to do as usual. I don’t see where she has to move on as she is content as a roommate and acts like the M is done. Not much difference outside of moving out of the MB.
She wanted the invoice for the annual propane costs so she could pay it. If you want a D, why are you willing to pay the $1200 bill if you may be leaving? She paid it last year but I have paid it the 5 yrs prior. This is confusing to me.
If I did the BD, I wouldn’t be shelling out a lump sum that doesn’t have to be paid....or I would pass it on to her. Makes little sense and makes me wonder if she is going to D me or not.
Trying to chill, and chill, and chill..... very confused by her actions. I need to really work on myself and leave her alone as stated earlier, it’s just a downfall as I want to discuss where the sitch is but can’t.
Need to work on me....
Zip
Last edited by job; 12/06/1910:41 PM. Reason: added space between paragraphs
Me 58 W 58 T 36 yrs. M 32 yrs D 27 D 23 BD 8/3/19 Waiting for filing from W
