No further progress on a final settlement with W, but I think we will be pretty close by the end of the month. There do not appear to be any major issues but with her you can never be quite sure what might pop-up. I want a very detailed agreement but I understand that as the kids get older schedules and details will change and some flexibility is necessary, and changes will be made. Whatever is best for kids. I have to deal with W for many years to come, there is no way around it, unfortunately. But I have really been enjoying the space and my uninterrupted time with the kids. It's so amazing.
I have been in my new place for a few months now and still no physical movement toward dating. I have been thinking about it a lot, but no action. I have no set time frame (other than in the past when I would not do it while IHS) so I don't know exactly when and what I'm going to do. I know a few women who are D'd and single, one who is part of my group of friends, and I have thought about them. I don't know what I'll do about them. And then of course there is the great unknown out there, the universe of women who I don't know yet. Who knows what's out there? It's an exciting thought, the feeling of venturing out and experiencing my area as a single guy again. Maybe my tune will change after I'm at it for awhile, LOL. But right now, the feeling of freedom, freedom from W's judgment and criticism and control, and freedom to do what I want for the most part, is invigorating. It's not a perfect analogy, but I feel kind of like Morgan Freeman at the end of Shawshank Redemption, when he is on the bus heading to the border:
"I find I'm so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at the start of a long journey... ...whose conclusion is uncertain."
Sure I am sad the my MR is ending, and I do look back for the purpose of finding my flaws and improving myself, and figuring out wtf happened. There's value in that, quite a bit actually, but it's all for the purpose of self-improvement and future happiness. It's about moving forward for me. I get another shot at a new R, and I'm optimistic it's going to be a really amazing one when it happens.
