You need to make an appointment w/a lawyer. All assets should be split down the middle and nothing should be removed unless both parties agree to it. What I think he's doing is posturing. He's got some fear going on and he's attempting to mask that fear by "macho posturing" He's like a teenager threatening to run away from home, but he's hoping that you'll beg and plead for him to stay. When he doesn't get that reaction from him, then that bully tactic comes out about what he's taking, etc. Kirsty, he wants so badly for you to fight w/him and give him justification to leave. Don't give him that satisfaction. If he truly wants to leave, he needs to do it under his own steam. If you give him that satisfaction, then he can say that you told him to leave and that makes his situation look better.
As for telling him about the OW, I think I would keep mum on that for a while longer. You do not want him to know that you are on to him just yet. Give him enough rope to hang himself. The more knowledge you have, the better when it comes to dealing w/him through a lawyer.
Continue to walk away if he's acting out. If you have to, change the subject and talk about the weather or something on TV, but don't take his bait. This man is truly itching for a fight.
Hang in there. Come here to vent.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
