That makes sense, but how do I handle her parents? Is that the same as having OM?
I am trying to control myself and I feel like I’ve been doing a really good job, especially considering where I wasn’t before all of this happened. I know I can’t control the situation and I really don’t want too. But I would like to know what I can do to continue to control how I respond to it with the parental involvement.
Her parental involvement is bad.
Originally Posted by Steve85
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Originally Posted by HrtHsbnd
I feel my situation is very different because of the parent involvement.
I most likely have you beat in the "Too involved grandparents department".
It doesn't matter.
The only thing that matters is making positive changes to you, for you and your son.
Challenge all your current beliefs. Make changes to the way you interact with people.
Learn new behaviors that are attractive. Drop the behaviors that are not attractive.
R2C, is dead on. Hrt, we all try to find loopholes and reasons why our sitches are unique or different. The fact of the matter is that her parents are no different then an OM. We've seen this on these forums before. Whether it is a group of divorcees, a BFF, an Other Person, the parents, the grandparents, a sibling, etc. Here is the deal: You have no control over HER or HER parents. That is why we say focus on you. It isn't just because that is where your focus SHOULD BE, it is also because there really is no other place for your focus TO BE.
When you eliminate everyone that you can't control, the only person left is the one person you can control. Yourself.
You've described her parents of not liking you and wanting her to be away from you. Hmmmm, sounds like what an OM's position would be, doesn't it?
How do you handle her parents? You don't. They are not your problem. Your W is. Just like if she had an OM. Engage with them as little as possible. When you do engage, keep it to logistics about the kids, if those logistics are necessary. You know they don't like you. And you know the best way to make someone that doesn't like you to start liking you? Act like you don't care. It is amazing how DBing tactics work across all relationship. DB your in-laws too!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
