How do I show her that I’ve moved on? I know it’s easier if I already have and I feel like I’m almost there, but I’m not there yet.
You can't show her you've moved on because you haven't. I read a website that discussed the timeline of a LBS's recovery from a breakup. At 6 months you're in the roller coaster of emotions phase which is about halfway through the grief process which is good news. I've been separated 5.5 months so this is where I am too. I hear we should both be feeling a lot better in another 6 months.
If you ultimately reconcile it will not be now. Almost every story I've read and I've read hundreds of them the WAS does not come back until the LBS moves on. Stinks right? This one guy his wife left, divorced him then 16 months later wanted to reconcile. He told her no. This other guy same thing his wife left, they sold the house, divorced and about 18 months after he'd moved on she wanted to reconcile. He was tempted but ultimately said no. Talked to this one guy in real life his wife left him for another man and yep she came back. He also told her no. I swear these WAS's have a 6th sense.
Ending of the movie Swingers sums up this phenomenon nicely. They all want to test the waters in another/life/place/relationship. I'm leaving my home and splitting the equity and I'm out. I love her still, and vacilate weekly between being silently angry, and forgiving in the same instance, but sorry, once I'm out. As a matter of principle. I'm out. Im willing to lose her forever. Nothing lost, nothing gained. I think a lot of LBH realize that if there is no open line of communications other than for the sake of the kids, once the WAW takes the reigns and control of their new life, once they realize the grass wasn't greener, (if they ever do.) Then the only reason why they are returning is because they thought they could do better than you, and realized they didnt. Don't mean to sow the seeds of doubt. I want everyone's M to R here. But my perception is if they can leave, buy you out, sell you out, liquidate your assets, mistrust you, argue with you, turn cold on you, blame you, shame you, fool you for years about there honesty and feelings, who's to say they can't do it again? I know its prideful to think that way...But at some point you have to take your self respect back and move on with your life.
