But should I bring this up to her? Should I point out the disparity between asking off for a concert and asking off for a couple hours to sit in on a phone consult?
No, she'll either BD you all over again or lie about how her boss won't let her. This is different because they made me sign something blah blah blah
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I really want to ask her about this. Like why she would ask for one but not for the other. She gets how important it is
Yes she does, so the fact that she blew it off is a pretty clear message on where you stand with her.
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AS. nobody in my family would be able to visit. At least not anybody I want
See if there is a cancer support group you can join, face-to-face meetings would be great but online at least. I would say those are people who can relate a lot better to what you are going through anyway. When my grandmother had cancer a volunteer would go to appointments with her and visit her at home just to talk and listen. We did too, but being as she was hundreds of miles away we couldn't always be there on short notice. This isn't something you need to go through alone!
the fact that she blew it off is a pretty clear message on where you stand with her.
Precisely. In a chat, she'd maximize the threat to her job and minimize the importance of the call.
Originally Posted by "OzMan"
She asked her boss a while back about taking a half a day off the day after a concert we have tickets to that is coming up. She didn’t have a problem asking about that. But she won’t ask about this?
Oz, building a new support network is daunting, but you need it buddy. Imagine if you needed more help.
When she asks how it went or the next time she brings it up I want to just say “you didn’t ask for this remember?” Just to see what she says.
Guys there are people I don’t care for anymore. But this goes beyond that kind of thing. This is my health. And a possible threat to my life. Brain cancer don’t mess around
I think that we had progressed a little. And this threw her back. Even though I’ve been handling it like a BOSS. This is just too much for her. Wow
She was very affectionate however
W I’m really sorry about your results. That [censored] Oz eh it is what it is. I’ll just have to figure it out W well it still [censored] though. It’s ok to admit it Oz. Ya it [censored]
I think that we had progressed a little. And this threw her back. Even though I’ve been handling it like a BOSS. This is just too much for her. Wow
I get it. The weekend after my BD, I got into a car crash. I have the scars to remember it. The terrible part was calling my partner, thinking in this case she'd come home. She wouldn't. Took awhile to even convince her it was true. She's now with me again. That she's far today doesn't mean she's far forever.
To some of these women your illness is an inconvenience. After separation it becomes a downright pain in the behind for them and you come across as feeling needy. Just don’t tell them about your health at all unless they ask and then tell them it’s fine.
I saw my XW today. She mentioned my back injury when my son gave me a bear hug. Not only did I not complain about it but I Told her it’s all sorted now. She asked how so I told her I’d changed treatment regime. She would forever whinge about me sorting my back even though I was getting physio and doing everything I could (my injury was degenaerative)
Flip the script oz.
Me: early 40's XW: nearly 50 T: 15 M: 5 BD: Jan 19 S:10 SS: 22 SD: 24
Oh Oz... I am so sorry. Your W’s response to your request is such BS, IMO. Her boss must be a complete 100% A$$HOLE if she doesn’t think she would not give her time off for something so important. Honestly...most people have been affected by cancer in some way and it is rare to find someone who would not be understanding and supportive of something like this. It think it is just an excuse. It speaks to her current mindset and also to her character. Like you said...this is a life threatening illness not a sore back. My XH has done nothing to deserve my support in any way but if he needed me enough to ask, I would be there for him. I hope she reconsiders and is there for you during your treatment. Is she abandons you, I would think long and hard about having her if your life at all. Could you really reconcile with someone who abandoned you in your time of need? Seems to me you deserve much, much better.
And having been through this with my sister and both my parents, when you have consults like this, you should absolutely have someone with you as they will be able to better remember what was said and ask questions that you may not be able to think of as prematurely facing one’s mortality is never easy. Do you have a close friend who might fit the bill? Or a co worker? Really hope there is someone to at least help you get to and from treatments.
