Would there be any necessary reason to legalize the separation? IMO If it's not necessary I wouldn't bring it up - it seems like pressure towards an outcome from my position, but again I'm no lawyer here and I dont know how that would affect any potential future dealings.
Well I'm starting to get worried about custody and finances.
On custody, I would like to be at 50/50 in 2 years. However, I don't want to D, and then later try to adjust custody. I may need to consult a lawyer if establishing precedent for many months during a trial separation will make it more difficult if I need to advocate for 50/50 later.
On finances, we are spending more than I bring in, and my W is slow to go back to work. We do have a fairly large savings base, but it is not a tenable situation. The numbers are ugly. A year of separation would take another 3 years to dig out of. That kind of thing.
The pressure on both fronts is not currently felt by my W. She does not really grasp the financial hole we are digging in the way that I do. That's all good and fine - I don't want custody or money to be the reasons she wants to reconcile - but facts are facts and this situation is not workable long-term.
To your main question... If I felt ready to push to legalize the separation, I would probably just file for D.
Like most of us here, I feel like I've dropped the rope, but I'm sure there is an invisible thread I'm still hanging onto, and that may become evident at any time. I do think a lot lately about moving on. Maybe I have negative sentiment override now, but I look back at the last several years of our MR and see a controlling, high-strung, emotionally unavailable W, and I just cannot go back to that.
