Last night, she got on webchat with our son. We were busy playing soccer in the backyard and he didn’t really want to talk to her. I let her see him, not me. He must’ve moved out of her sight because she demanded to see him. I gave her a look like calm down you just needed to let me know. She snapped at me rudely and I told her that I didn’t appreciate the attitude. I would hang up if she didn’t stop . She just started crying and cried until the end of the call. Lack of respect has been a big issue with her lately.
The messy part about your threat to hang up is it doesn't just end her interacting with you--which is totally reasonable--but also her interacting with her son--which is less reasonable. I don't think you want gunpoint respect where she's afraid you'll otherwise impede access to her son. That could make her despise you, and besides it's a stick she can easily remove when she formalizes the separation and custody order. '
I have a friend whose custody plan includes webchats. They did this while their daughter was 6-14. It's his responsibility to ensure their daughter is in front of the Webcam when he has physical custody, and vice-versa. The parents rarely talk during Webchats. Maybe clearer boundaries could ease tensions here.
Originally Posted by "HrtHsbnd"
She just started crying and cried until the end of the call. At that point I would’ve usually asked why she was so upset or even sent her a text, but I didn’t. She would normally send me a derogatory text, but she didn’t either.
Seeing her crying must have been hard? I know I'm distressed whenever my partner cries, and made some of my bigger goofs when I saw her cry. I agree with AS's responses about why she wants more space, and his question about what you plan to do that would make reconciliation less likely is an interesting one.
