She just wants to talk about the relationship in therapy. I still don’t see how only talking about it for 4 hours a month will do any good. Would you explain that to me?
She's not interested in an R with you right now. She would prefer that she not even have to coparent with you, but she doesn't have a choice there. So talking about it 4 hours a month, or 4 minutes, or even 4 seconds is TOO MUCH. She's done. You've got to wrap your head around that- she's done, done, done. That can change in the future but for now that's where she is.
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Why is shaking her hand weird? She is treating this like a business, so why not shake her hand ?
You really don't understand why that's weird? Basically this is a person you've been married to and intimate with, how do you go from that to shaking hands? (Hint- you don't)
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Why do WAS try to build distance between us? Don’t they think there’s enough? Why do you think she is doing it?
I know this is tough to understand and may hurt to hear, but she really does not like you right now. She may even hate you. She is more than likely very repulsed by the sight of you. You don't understand it because you still remember the happy marriage you thought the two of you shared, so you keep fishing around looking for your old wife inside there somewhere. Sometimes you might even get a glimpse of her, which just further confuses you because you think if you only say or do the right thing the old her will step forward and push aside this "interloper". But what you're dealing with is beyond your understanding. She has fundamentally changed, she is no longer who you knew. You keep trying to apply the old rules to this new person but that doesn't work. This new person doesn't like you, doesn't want to be married to you, doesn't want to touch you, doesn't want to talk to you, doesn't want to be in the same country with you. So what do you do? You move on. You accept this "new" her and you leave her alone and go about building a new life without her. I am not saying give up on your M, but you have to accept that for now, the M is done and over with. So you work on you, and with time you might be able to build a new R and M with her. But that's way down the road.
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I will need to start making choices very soon that will negatively affect our chances of reconciling. So I need to make those choices not for all 3 of us, but for my son and I regardless of it ruins any chance of reconciliation?
Can you give an example of that? What do you think you need to do that will hurt future recon? Because you are probably wrong. The BEST thing you can do for a future recon are the things your brain is telling you not to do. Detach. GAL. Leave her alone. Work on you. She wants to leave you hold the door open. She wants to hang out you say "no thanks".
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Also, any idea why she didn’t take her wedding ring back? I offered it to her at 3 different times to show her I’m done with her nonsense.
Quit worrying about all these little things, they don't matter. The very fact that you are asking questions like this shows how attached you still are. When you say "her" wedding ring, do you mean the one she gave you or the one you gave her? If it's the one she gave you then it's your property, not hers. Quit trying to give it back, just put it away somewhere. If it's the one you gave her then count yourself lucky she doesn't want it (because legally it's her property, at least in the US). Put it away.
