Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

Thank you all.

I have no words to express how thankful I am for all of you and the support of this board. There are now just too many strikes against him. Affair/15 yrs of lies/EA/ghosting me and sending cruel messages to his friends while my mother was dying (about how the house was so peaceful since I wasn't there)/crocodile tears ++/The confession/the hug/the "apology".....he won't be happy, but this is "not my chickens, not my eggs". He's made his bed. Essentially at any point along this journey he could have manned up and we would have dealt with it. It's not like I didn't suggest counselling more than once, and was turned down. No emotional work whatsoever. We could have had a terrific fun and fulfilling retirement-and I still will-it's just a little further out now.

He's coming up to farmsit while I'm gone. Last time we spoke he said "we'd talk after I got back from Halifax". Well, today's conversation will be short and sweet.

"there's no need to talk after Halifax. While you continue to lie to me and scour the internet dating sites, we are simply business partners. When I get back, I will see you for the mortgage signing on the 27th. We will sign the separation agreement at that time as well."

And then I will leave to carry on packing. If he decides not to stay, he can figure out what to do with the dog. I have neighbours already lined up to do cats and horses. if need be. I honestly don't care what he does. I feel like now I'm observing a science experiment. I am still sad at the loss of hopes/dreams/ and apparently 15 years of my life. But I'm detached. The thought of him actually kind of repulses me now.