While it’s not what I want, I have come to grips with it, should it come to pass.
That is a good place to be.
You don’t want it, so don’t force the issue. Let her do the heavy lifting. You’ll know when you’ve had enough.
Unless you need to divorce for reasons like financial security and protection, abuse, etc... let it be.
You are in MC, with cordial communications, not much need in D right now. Yes, W probably needs to feel a loss, which she might be (one can’t really tell). However, pushing for a divorce to help her with feeling more of a loss is manipulating her journey, and your’s.
Separate accounts and ensuring your’s and kids’ financial future is highly recommended. Or at least keep careful watch of things and be ready. Credit cards, overdraft, loan, etc... are other areas of concern. You don’t want to owe half of her spending.
When I tried to take W off the credit card I couldn’t - we both were co-card holders. I had to pay the entire balance, close the account, and apply for a new card.
The wedding ring, as most things are - do it for you. On or off, may or may not affect W. This is about you. Do you want to wear it?
For me, I really wanted to wear it, and I put it away. I’ve never really worn it since she left. I’ve tried it on a few times, still looks great, eleven diamonds and gold all sparkling. And I’ve carried it in my shirt pocket next to my heart, during S17’s graduation pictures - a time when XW, I, and the kids were poising as a family.
If pushed for an answer I’d lean towards not wearing your ring. Some do wear it on the other hand, or on a chain. I do like the symbol of the ring, and the symbol of it’s absence. Embracing one’s life accurately. Of course, that’s me.
Not too worry, you’ve got time, don’t have to decide today.
DnJ
Last edited by job; 09/09/1902:48 AM. Reason: editorial request by DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
