Thought I’d stop by for a bit of an update. Things are happening, that’s for sure:
So I had some questions about H’s proposal. He of course had to remind me what a ridiculous, insulting offer my first one was, and how generous he is with his. It’s so funny he can’t understand I see right through his sugar coating, twisting, and lying. It’s pretty ridiculous. He believes he is in control, and doesn’t realize that I am the one in control. I’ll let him believe it.
I brought up that his proposal kept me and the kids on his insurance, but this can’t be so since I have to get my own after we divorce. I told him I appreciated his offer to keep the kids on. He responded that it’s just as expensive to have him and the kids and me as it is just him and the kids, and didn’t understand why I would want a ‘quick’ divorce. Really? Over insurance? Well, that’s why his girlfriend remains married, so I guess it must be a good reason. HaHa. Anyway, told him that he chose to buy a place with another woman and start a life with her, and I already told him I didn’t sign up for an open marriage. I really don’t think he believed I would D and take away his plan B. He said that if he has other expenses like health insurance, the kids car insurance, etc, he needs to rethink his offer, saying “sorry. This needs to be fair to me too”. He’s balking at paying car insurance, cell phone etc. even though we set a precedent when they went to college to do so until they graduate. He says he loves me and the kids and wants to take care of us. Really? Doesn’t sound like it. Me I can understand. But his own kids? It just rolls off my back now. My communications with him are only business-like. I don’t let him draw me in. I think he’s surprised.
I never agreed to anything he wrote in his “generous offer”, just went back with questions for “clarity”. Haven’t heard back. He’s on a trip with his girlfriend now to introduce her to his birth mother. I only know because they tried to sign into Netflix and the location showed up. So, he’s busy now, and probably just avoiding the inevitable. I don’t think he really thought I would divorce him.
D20 still blocks her dad from phone and FB. But, H had S22 ask me for her e-mail address. I gave it to him without thinking. Well, yep. You guessed it. He sent a very long e-mail to D20. She called me at work crying her eyes out. It was full of excuses, half-truths, and a few lies. She saw right through it, and said it’s just excuses and no accountability or apology. I don’t think she plans to respond. Of course I had to leave work for the day and pick up the pieces. I fear H might be the cause of a nervous breakdown. Makes me so made how clueless and selfish he is. I discussed with D20 about me filing for D (I haven’t yet, but it’s coming). She said “Good. The sooner the better”.
Friday I retained an attorney, and submitted the first draft of my financial affidavit. I’m going to work out with her a fair and equitable settlement to present to H based on the attorney’s advise (we will discuss next week). I don’t think H sees it coming. I don’t really care. If he just spews more anger, threats, and accuses me of not being fair, etc, I’ll just turn it completely over to the attorney. Enough is enough. I don’t want this to drag on. I want to be divorced before Thanksgiving, but preferably next month.
I continue to have a very full, content, and mostly happy life. I have joy and peace. Lots of activities, getting together with friends, and a trip almost every month planned through February!
