Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[peacetoday]

Barb

It is very difficult

I know MY M was not good..for many years b4 MLC,
but I think the hardest thing was giving up the cinderella fantasy of being M and raising my kids with their dad

and believing we would R and create something better

I still loved my XH and I didn't want to be D

It will take you a while to grieve this loss and We go through many stages as we process this and begin to let go
and this takes a while--
while you are waiting to know his next move, you are healing and still creating a new life on your own
one day the pieces come together

I think you may be disappointed after his confession, maybe you expected something different or more from him and Im sorry for your pain-
The best you can do is to continue to begin to create a good life for you, hobbies, friends, church, books, volunteering ect..yoga, meditation vacations as you are already doing.... and with your free time you can keep a watch on your H actions

Many of these spouses are not well and without therapy and professional help they may not recover...for some time
This is a good place to vent as you repair the loss of this while your H decides and if you want to wait

The thing is we have no where to go anyway, so it makes good sense to grieve it, while we move forward