Yesterday was a busy work day. Ugh... all teenage boys.
First up...a 16 year-old anxious, somewhat violent (loves the adrenaline hit of fighting with others) boy who tells me he is high “24/7” and doesn’t care if he lives or dies. His mom called me in tears the other day. She’s lost two family members to drug overdoses and is super worried her son’s cavalier attitude is going to turn into an accidental death and is pinning her hopes on me being the one to motivate him to turn his life around. So far, he has agreed to come back for our third appointment but remains ambivalent about doing anything to help himself.
Second...16 year-old anxious boy who has a daily weed habit and is comfortable avoiding absolutely everything that brings up an anxious feeling...school, job, life... not attending school either but at least is spending a couple hours a day doing online courses. His mom called me too. Worried about his future. Pinning all her hopes on me of course.
Third...16 year-old socially anxious boy who is graduating this year and hoping to go to university if he manages to keep up with his homework and not get overwhelmed. He’s actually doing pretty well so I told him I’m only going to see him every other week. Hopefully his anxious dad can handle it.
Fourth...17 year-old boy who I think is trying to convince me he has autism as he loves to talk to me in a robotic manner and I’ve heard he isn’t like that with peers. He loves to answer a question with a question. He emailed me on Wednesday to tell me that he feels like hurting someone (his mom) so wanted an appointment so I could counsel him out of it. When I see him... that was then, this is now. Still wanting to be in his room all day. Not in school, planning to get a job but never actually taking the steps to get one, pot smoker, etc... Mom is frustrating because she wants him to DO something. With three minutes left to go in our session, asked me “Why is suicide taboo?” after telling me not to “freak out”. Uh yeah... I don’t freak out. I swear he comes in just to frustrate me...lol.
Teenage boys are just not great therapy candidates but... I love them all...lol. What I don’t love is the pressure from parents to “fix” their kids in five meetings or less. It is a tall order and a lot of responsibility. Can’t believe I’m going into my 22nd year and I haven’t lost my mind yet...lol.
On a another note...I am continuing to do family therapy with the family no one else wanted to work with and we are making great strides. It is actually starting to get fun!!!
My personal life is status quo. Had the kids on Wednesday and Thursday. Came home yesterday to find their dad’s truck in the driveway. Usually he is super careful about being gone by the time I get home from work but not yesterday. I was glad. It gave me a chance to hug my kids goodbye. My daughter was excited to go because apparently he and OW got a Boston Terrier puppy. Must be OW’s thing cause XH loves big dogs...Newfoundlands are his dream dogs. A BT would be way down his list of preferred dogs. Way down mine too. I think they are kinda ugly - no offence to any BT lovers out there.
Jack is over this weekend. He came over last night at around 7:00. I’m always happy to see him. We laugh a lot and just like being in each other’s company. More and more, however, I am wondering if that is enough. It’s not the age difference. I am pretty much over that...for the most part. It’s more the other differences and where we are at in life. My life is pretty set....kids, career, home ownership, etc... His life is the opposite of that. I suppose that makes things easier on one hand as he is free to do what he wants and live wherever he wants. He could easily fit into my life. But it would be him fitting into MY life. That might be fine for him in the short term but what about a year or five years from now? If I really invest in this relationship, am I just going to get left again? And maybe that is the age thing coming into play? He is still young enough to meet someone and have a family whereas I am past all of that. It’s not something he wants right now but he could easily change his mind later on down the road and then what? Serial dating is not for me. I’m someone who just wants to be in a committed relationship and grow old with somebody. Sigh...this life stuff is so confusing...
