Dear Dnj, Hi everyone. I definitely will try to make more cautious with my words choices. What I’m going through for some of you are echoing of a past, while I’m here I’m trying my best not to destroy foundations. Today I feel like running, running far, running without looking back. Maybe I can deal with this but my fears are in control, I just want to run. Just today I created a situation that started with a wish just to end up in a painful drama. My oldest daughter is planning to be engaged soon, I want to have a small engagement party just family and few friends, she’s really thrilled with the idea. We were talking about it since I was at the hospital. Today I was so excited about it that for the first time I shared it with my youngest daughter. At the beginning she was happy with the plan, when she asked me if her father will be part of the celebration I categorically said no. My oldest daughter doesn’t want him there, is her day and she doesn’t want him there. I went as far to tell her that he won’t be part of any holidays gathering, that I don’t want to put myself trough that. Everything went downhill from there, she told me that I made her sister a scorned wife regarding her father, that I involved her way to much in my pain, that I shouldn’t have allowed her to see me sad or worse. She fiercely stated that what her father did was wrong but “normal “ people don’t lock out family over few mistakes. She go on to say that her father made a mistake but the destruction of the family was on me. I told my daughter to not come over to my house, that I had enough. Then my two daughters got into an argument over the phone, I was summoned to the line, it’s so painful seeing how far they are getting apart. The call that I made to my H trying for him to help calm the situation backfired terrible. “That is what you get for manipulating the situation and ripping me out of my daughter life “ shame on me, I try to reason his words with his actions, name calling nonstop. Someone please stop the world I want to hop out.
