100% agree with Vapo, Neffer, LH and Ovr. We constantly preach about listening and validating but NOT IN THIS SITUATION. Your W is all broken up because she and OM got BUSTED. She has ZERO remorse, you really need to understand that. She is not grieving out of remorse over the damage she has caused, she is grieving that her toy has been taken away. You should give her no quarter. Detach. Leave her alone. Don't be her buddy and shoulder to cry on.
Originally Posted by bballer1
My wife was in a lot of pain the past two days with being away from him and no contact. I tried to help as it was tough to see her crying all day.
Let her cry. Let her feel pain. You go about your business. She needs to know you have ZERO sympathy for her, she is lying in a filthy cesspool of her own making.
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I did not stay home from work but she called me constantly.
So she stayed home to grieve OM? Quit answering your phone.
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She has been honest and she claims she feels responsible for him having to go through a divorce and for him feeling so badly. She said she could tell he was down and out and she had never seen him this way before.
Oh my heart just breaks for OM!!!! He's married and having an affair with a married woman and boning her IN SCHOOL and now might lose his family and his job over it? Oh the poor guy!! Who would think that something like that could possibly happen to a filthy lying adulterer? It doesn't seem fair! (/sarcasm)
Regarding your below comments, the bolded parts would have been valuable additions to that conversation:
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I thanked her for being honest and admitting for calling him.
...and told her I now have a lot to think about because I am not sure I want to be married to someone who disrespects me in such a manner. Then I told her I need time and space to think this over and decide what MY next move is going to be.
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She also admitted that she had a strong desire to continue to talk to him and that they wouldn’t be physical at all anymore.
I responded by saying I am tired of her lies and deception and don't believe anything she tells me right now. I also added that if she continues to talk to him then our marriage is over.
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She is scared the OM’s wife will have both of them fired since she has all the information of them talking and having sex at school.
I told her that would be a shame, but it is the price they might have to pay for their deplorable behavior.
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If she continues to hide her phone and sleep in another room then I will ask her for a divorce.have her served with no notice.
