Guess I'm standing. Was "now what?"

[BarbH]

Okay, so I talk to him yesterday, it's friendly and congenial-he's at the pub with BIL watching football. And may come up will let me know. I'm going to bed-text him "do I leave the light on " No, he'll be up in the morning. "Okey dokey, good night". Well, it's morning,11 am, no word. He's very short when texting, but seems quite friendly and talkative, even jokey (as I am) on the phone. But he doesn't contact me, it's always me having to contact him about finances, or the house.

I'm worried about when I come back from Halifax. His last words were "we'll talk when you get back". This is after the wrenching afternoon where he confessed his affair of 15 years ago, then hugged me hard and said he was sorry. I was over the moon at the time, but agreed to we'll talk after I get back.

He's also been talking to his sister (as she talks to me) about his concerns regarding retirement (toxic workplace), and whether or not I will "throw the affair" in his face down the road. (I'm encouraged about the "down the road" bit). He can retire, once the refinance is done, and I will never throw it in his face, and told her to tell him so. It feels like he's feeling me out by using her as an intermediary.

On reflection, I'm worried this talk will be a "this changes nothing" talk, in which case, what's the point of having it? Or even worse, "I confessed, I'm sorry, but I'm totally done". I also am worried that he was to some extent pressured by his sister setting up to talk to me about the affair, although I think by telling her two days earlier he was maybe warming up to telling me. I am rolling around in my mind either telling him (if I see him) or texting him....something about the talk.

Do I? When I'm on my way back? Something like this:

"H. I know we said we'd talk when we got back. I just want you to know that I am aware you asked for 6 months of time and space-I am very willing to give you what you need. While I am happy to talk to you whenever you want, about whatever you want, whether it's us, retirement, the affair, or even the dog's teeth! I do not want you to feel pressured into talking about our conversation before I left. What I said at that time still stands, and I am trying hard to honour your desire to have space you need at this time."

Or do I just ignore it and see if he brings it up?

What says the wisdom of the board? I'm also worried his sister will pressure him into talking to me about it again.