Thank you Blu! I know that everything you are saying is true. I can see myself trying to nice him back lately, against all advice here, and I got caught up in the superficial positive response. He’s been warm, friendly, wanting to be around my house a lot and even mildly flirtatious lately. I’ve been here with H before. And last night H brought up wanting to work out more details moving toward D, and I was (somehow?!??) surprised. I did manage to stay calm and do some validating, but I let the talk go on for way to long. He started in all over again saying he’s felt like we’ve been good friends and coparenting lately, that’s all it is, he doesn’t want to lead me on, he’s happy now, etc. It was really hard to hear,( and honestly hard to believe that he sees the current dynamic as just good coparenting ) because I’ve been backtracking I to denial and hope and mind reading and all things I shouldn’t be doing. I told him I won’t try to stop the D, but that I don’t think it’s necessarily the best decision for our family. Oddly, he said “but you filed those papers in response to mine”, referring to my response to his D filing. I said “I had to, I’m not trying to stop what you’re doing, so I did what I needed to do” It was an odd thing for him to say. I’ve probably plan B’d myself all over again. At least I didn’t get emotional or upset. I’m feeling sad and tired and sick to my stomach. Plan moving forward: continue to be cordial, continue to DB but pull way back.
