Your number one problem is you still think that allowing yourself to be disrespected is the best way to save your marriage when in reality it is the reason your W will most likely D you. I don't know why you can't understand it. This IMO is what is going to haunt you. What if I would have listen to the people who have seen these situations 1,000s of times?
You can stand for your marriage and not allow disrespect. You could have told your W that she is free to move out and live her life as she pleases but she has to take her pride and joy (horse wtf??) with her. You could have calmly told her no she can't come over and swim and drink your beer whenever she wants because it doesn't work for you.
When I was 17 my gf at the time broke up with me. I cried, wrote her love notes even dropped off a cassette tape (yeah I'm old) of our song at her apartment. Guess what happened she still dumped me. Years down the road it was never about her or getting dumped my reminder was how I acted after being dumped. I didn't respect myself.
Curtis the reality is by the time you get here the odds are you will end up getting D'd. We have recently found out one of our few success stories is challenged again. We try to help you to increase your odds of preventing it and help you the best we can to move forward. Most newbies struggle with DB because its counterintuitive.
Curtis I think you are a really nice guy but I also think you are very naive to how attraction works. Google "hypergamy". You read bits and pieces of old threads, probably books and other sources but I don't think you clearly understand the circumstances and context and then have problems with implementation.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. DB starts today.
