Persistent Endurance (Part 6)

[curtis7]

You actually cost me sleep last night because I read your posts before bed and I couldn't fall asleep because it made me angry. I guess I need to detach from you lol. So you're worried that anything that happens to the horse would become unforgivable but her completely destroying your soul and your family is forgivable on your end. WTF???

LH, please don’t lose sleep over me. You have better and more exciting things to think about at night. Yes, detach, don’t let what I post affect your emotions. I’m replying in the morning so you can be angry all day.

On some level, I feel that horse is more important to her than most human beings. It is her pride and joy. However, I still believe family and kids are first in her life.

Now after reading hoosjims thread which btw has zero in common with your sitch, you decide you need to distance yourself and protect yourself even though we've been telling you this for seven months. WTF????

What can I say...I guess I’m slow? In some regards I’m as stubborn as her and stuck in my ways of doing what doesn’t work. Yes, I was in a fog too and didn’t want to see reality for what it was in that my MR was over and she had no intentions of coming back.

Ok, so my sitch is not like hoosjim’s and you previously informed me that it was not like P_Jam’s. While each sitch is unique and has its own quirks, many of them are similar and follow a repeatable storyline. So, dare I ask which sitches does mine have the most in common with? I hope they don’t all end in D with never a hint of R. Please find me one as bad as mine that successfully R.

Look man I am really sorry you're going through this but I truly believe you will be better off without her. If she ever gets her $hit together you can revisit a recon in the future. IMO you need to take at minimum a year to work on yourself and realize that you have value and that you will never allow someone to disrespect you again in this manner.

LH, I truly respect your opinion and can’t blame you for making this recommendation when you step back and logically evaluate my sitch and all that has gone down. I know my value and I have allowed her to disrespect me over and over again. Isn’t that to be expected to some extent when the LBH makes a decision to stand, remain married, and give the WW time and space?

This is one of the biggest decisions of my life and it’s bigger than me. It will have a lasting affect on me, her, my kids, family, and friends. Those are some of the considerations and factors I’m battling internally. Respect versus hope for what could be.