I felt that things had been going well, especially in MC. We had been getting along pretty good for awhile. Yesterday was great! We had a pretty could MC session, even though she said she still wasn’t sure if she wanted to work on our marriage. We’ve been separated for 6 months and I would think she would know by now.
In addition, on Monday at our sons doctors appointment we talked at her request. I told her that I was tired of being on the defensive and I felt she was in a negative loop that she just couldn’t get out of and that I was not her enemy. I just wanted to support her and agree with her so that she knew I wasn’t trying to argue. I told her I was fine if she wanted to divorce and I was fine if she wanted to work on the marriage. I told her at this point I was just really done with all of it. She got somewhat angry, but surprised.
Because of my feelings and our conversation, I told her that I felt that she wasn’t capable of having an adult conversation. To which she just put her head down and didn’t disagree with me. I decided that it was time to offer her my wedding ring back. It was weird because at that point I feel like she knew I was serious and tired of her nonsense, so she literally ran to her car as quickly as she could and took off. It was weird how she acted. I would’ve thought she wanted to take it.
She was VERY nice to me the rest of Monday, Tuesday and yesterday. In fact, we had a great MC session yesterday. I told the doctor what I did and why I did it. He asked me what I felt I needed to do to earn her trust and respect back, so I asked my W. She told me Coparenting, consistency and doing what she asks. By the time the session was over I felt better. I don’t know how she felt about it, but I honestly didn’t care. The one question I have is that now the only advice the doctor gives us is to continue only talking about our son and leave the relationship talks in therapy. I don’t see how only talking about our relationship 4 hours a month really moves our marriage forward and fixes it.
Outside, we talked more. She prayed with me and I asked her what I needed to do girl get her heat back. She told me she wanted me to write her letters. She didn’t realize all the things I’ve done to work on myself and our marriage. It really affected her. As everyone knows her parents are a huge unhealthy part of our lives, so she wants me to write her parents apology letters. I highly doubt my lawyer will let me, though.
I think she felt that way too because yesterday evening we spoke for about 45 mins on webchat, but I only spoke to my son for about 5 mins. He didn’t want to talk last night anyway. She told me about her job, her day, etc. I listened, validated, congratulated and tried to make her feel the way I always made her feel.
