My W does know about the first 2. Not the last 2. At the time, after her very deep, and strongly connected EA in 2005, I came clean about the first two. We recommitted to each other and moved forward.
So it sounds like that has not been a factor in her having these EA's, that's mainly what I was curious about. Given your above response and your very strong expressions of remorse here, I'm wondering if you feel like you need to come clean to her on the second two EA's? I am absolutely not suggesting that you do or don't, merely asking you where your heart is on that. I know you're a man of faith so I suspect it's been eating at you a long time.
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I believe that if she knew about my last two, that attitude you suggest might be hers. But since the night I confronted, she has taken full ownership, and is willing to work to fix things.
Obviously opening up to her about yours now could be very difficult given her recent activities. That would be a very difficult choice to make and I certainly don't envy you. Maybe something to discuss with your IC, or privately with your MC.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
The forum is emotionally draining, even when in just a support role. Helping others gives me a clearer idea on how to interact with my woman. There is a balance.
Absolutely. In some ways reading other sitches makes me relive some of the pain I went through in mine and that can be difficult at times. But it also reminds me of why it's important to be very vigilant in my current R's, not just with my GF but with my kids and even my ex. And it is therapeutic helping others, and who better to help them than those of us who have walked a milerun a marathon in their shoes.
