I haven't read any of the books on here but ten years ago when she had an affair I read a ton. The focus last time was how do I get her back but the focus this time is letting her go. The house has been rearranged with help from D13, all pictures of her have been removed, D13 and I are layering memories at our favorite places to visit, D13 and I are taking art classes together, we have already built a pergola to create a comfortable place to relax in our backyard, D13 is switching rooms in the house to create a safe place for her to rest and we have changed all the pictures on the wall and I D13 has had friends over and gone over to friends house to try to create a normalcy for her. I am also trying to work on new goals and dreams for myself but it is hard. As far as her coming back to reconcile, I tried that ten years ago and thought we had succeeded only to be blindsided again. It took me five years to trust her again and I know in my heart I could never trust her again. I doubt there is a thing she could do to even get me to consider taking her back or working on the radioactive waste that was our relationship.

I never badmouth XW but that is mostly because I don't need too. XW has a PHD in destroying relationships with people and she is going all out with D13. My heart and soul are ripped apart because I have had to take D13 to her pediatric medical facility so the oncall pychologist and her can come up with an emergency plan to prevent her from suicidal thoughts when she is at her visitations with XW. I am doing my best to get D13 to see a regular therapist for herself but because XW forced her into group therapy to work on their relationship D13 fears all therapists. I honestly don't care about their relationship right now my focus and the psychologist, behavioral specialist, and school counselor agree D13 needs to work on herself (coping strategies, setting boundaries, self love, confidence) before evening considering whether reunification or reconciliation would be possible or what it might look like.

I try to just take each day as it comes and give all the support and love needed to D13.

Last edited by rooskers; 09/05/19 06:40 PM.
1st BD December 26, 2008
PA admitted to by XW December 29, 2008

2nd BD May 23, 2019
Daughter confirms EA
Divorce Finalized July 18, 2019