In fact, I was going to take a break from the forum,
The forum is emotionally draining, even when in just a support role. Helping others gives me a clearer idea on how to interact with my woman. There is a balance.
I think the other thing that is hard is to watch people change over time. My W is not the girl I married. I know that, yet my brain sometimes wants to go back to when she was. And think of her that way. Being a mom. Losing their identity. Menopause. Depression. AD medications. All have an effect and changes who they are. Her personality is much different than it was. Her capacity to empathy has changed.
We went on vacation with her mom and step-dad camping 2 years ago. Her mom and stepdad are extremely picky eaters. 70+ years old and act like toddlers if there is something they don't like on their plate. So we go to lunch, order sandwiches, and when the girl brings my step-FIL his sandwich there is a -GASP- dill pickle spear on his plate. He goes into meltdown mode about it being on his plate. My W looks at him across the table and says "OH GROW UP. So what, there is a pickle on your plate. Just don't eat it if you don't like it!" Her mom pipes up: "But if you don't like pickles then you don't want pickle juice on your plate." My W says: "Oh wahhhhhh. Whatever, be a grown adult and deal with it!"
10 years ago no WAY does she have this exchange.
So all of that is, I believe a result of the things I've mentioned above. It manifests in other ways to. She isn't nearly as affectionate as she used to be. She is a little more callous in the way she says things. Etc.
She still has a heart of gold, she really does. But to say she is more selfish than she was 10 or 20 years ago is an understatement.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
