Really sorry that you have to deal with this as well.
Yes I agree with Sandi - just focus on preparing for the surgery. The point about listening to and doing positive stuff is very important - it sounds twee and cliched, but it really works. I have Spotify on at work for example, and just listen to classic 80s stuff, prog rock, or 20th century classical. I avoid anything that reminds me of my M or W (so nothing by Aqualung, and I can't listen to Every Little Thing She Does is Magic at the moment, despite The Police being my fave band!).
Read some non-fiction or books by comedians. Audio books are great for this too; I have a long list of comedy books to get through with my Audible credits!
Wishing you well.
Me - 36, W - 32 No kids T - 8 yr, M - 3 yr Discovery - 14 May 2019 S - 25 May 2019 & D bomb - 29 July 2019 D & House sale final - Feb 2020