In less than a week I’ll be 50. In a few hours I’ll be heading out for a week celebration. From outside seems that I move on, that I’m ok, please someone handed me the Oscar. I’m crushed, I miss the person that I used to know, I miss him dearly. I already told my friends to do not expect me to shy away from tears if the feeling is overwhelming. I don’t want to be in love with someone who doesn’t exist anymore.
I turned 50 one month after BD and W moving in with OM. Yes, crushed is a most apt description of where you are, at the moment.
You have a half century of life and experiences, overcoming obstacles and living your accomplishments. Do enjoy, when you can, the celebration of your 50 years.
Yes, there will be tears, and you are facing a pretty big obstacle. Barranco, you will survive and find your way through this. Please accept this, that small fact and knowledge, a gift perhaps for a birthday - you will get through this.
Originally Posted by Barranco
I don’t want to be in love with someone who doesn’t exist anymore.
I understand.
Focus on you. Let those emotions settle. You cannot force this, emotions have to run their course. You, however, can focus your attention towards you, your three kids, and two grandkids.
In time, you will discover detachment and find indifference. And the peace they bring.
Further along, the very thing you don’t want right now you might just find you willing accept and embrace. The path takes time to walk, with many small steps. Keep focus on what you’ve accomplished and towards the next step.
Enjoy the week.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
In less than a week I’ll be 50. In a few hours I’ll be heading out for a week celebration. From outside seems that I move on, that I’m ok, please someone handed me the Oscar. I’m crushed, I miss the person that I used to know, I miss him dearly. I already told my friends to do not expect me to shy away from tears if the feeling is overwhelming. I don’t want to be in love with someone who doesn’t exist anymore.
This spoke to me. I'm feeling the same way about mine. Sometimes I think I'm in love with the person I used to know, and discounting the person he's been for the past few years. Sometimes I think I just can't face the future without him-but you know, the future happens anyway, and as my good friend said to me-we only think we are planning-and then life happens.
So enjoy your birthday, Keep walking forward. I will think of you on my walk forward.
Me: 57 H:60 Married: 25 yrs DB #1 June 4/19 "I love you forever" June 14/19 DB#2: June 19/19 ILYBINILWY
Thank you for your kind words Dnj. I’m in my “fiestas patronales “ meaning I took the whole week off to celebrate my birthday. My oldest daughter is with me, Thursday my youngest and grandkids will meet us in key west. Logically I really don’t know how I chose this place ( shrine of family memories is an understatement) but as a right now I can’t see myself giving up anything else, as weird as I sound I don’t want neither I can. Friday is my birthday.
BarbH, thank you for the birthday wishes! Apparently we are in the same situation, we are in love with someone who doesn’t care about us hurting or longing for them. Regarding moving forward through this pain yes we can, yes we will. BarH we don’t need them we want them because we love them. We long them, we are moving forward, we are capable. Again thank you for your kindness.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you Job! My birthday was a great week. I allowed myself to relax, to see and look around for the today, the now. He choose to leave I choose to stay, nobody wins. I’m determined to have a life, I won’t settle for existence. Let’s see what this new pages in my life brings.
Thank you Job! My birthday was a great week. I allowed myself to relax, to see and look around for the today, the now. He choose to leave I choose to stay, nobody wins. I’m determined to have a life, I won’t settle for existence. Let’s see what this new pages in my life brings.
Good for you! That's the attitude! My therapist asked me yesterday if I wanted the old marriage back "NO". It's a great question to ask yourself.
Me: 57 H:60 Married: 25 yrs DB #1 June 4/19 "I love you forever" June 14/19 DB#2: June 19/19 ILYBINILWY
Hello again everyone. Lately I’m trying not to be a sob story but I’m failing miserably. I had an amazing vacation for my 50th birthday, I laughed a lot really had a good time. My daughters and grandkids were part of my celebration. Wednesday 28 it was time for my friends to go back to their country, I was leading them to the car rental return at the airport. Out of the blue I started to feel weird, I got confused, my limbs felt heavy, I felt icy cold water coming down my head to my neck. I missed my exit to the airport, I drove to the coming up exit, I put my blinker signaling left for my friend who was following me, getting to the exit I started to see orange flicks and then nothing, I was blind. I managed to park on the shoulder, my friend was calling me trying to understand what had happen, I declined her call in order for me to call 911. I informed the operator that I wasn’t feeling good, that I was blind, she insisted for me to give her the exact address, I couldn’t see I asked her to find me trough my phone, her answer was “ lady this is not a movie “ she really p!ssed me off. I told her that I will call back, I got my sight back, drank water. I managed to lead my friends to the airport, once done I drove 40 minutes to the hospital near my house. Everything seems like in slow motion, far, blurry. When I got there my blood pressure was 247 over 168, I was in trouble. I learned in a brutal way that stress creates cortisone and that is the culprit for strokes and heart attack’s. Now I know. I was scared, I’m still. I don’t want to freaking die. The human body is an amazing machine. I’m with high blood pressure pills, I had to slow down a lot.
Last edited by job; 09/05/1911:35 AM. Reason: edited a word
Stress can play a major role in a person's health. I am glad that you are safe and have seen a physician. Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
